![]() It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. Writing my daughter’s eulogy was a huge turning point in my life. Only in being true to myself and those around me was I able to acknowledge what happened and ultimately accept it. I need to be strong because in my strength, I radiate strength to them” but in order to do that I had to be open and honest about my own thoughts and stay true to myself. I looked at my family and thought “I need to be better. If this is the man my daughter’s watching down on then I should be ashamed I should be embarrassed. At one stage, I was drinking a lot, almost as a coping mechanism, to help me deal with those dark emotions but I remember waking up one morning feeling so ashamed of myself. The aftermath of Azaylia’s passing was obviously a hugely difficult time. She is my reason and I’m so grateful that she was brought to me. No matter what I do in this world, it’ll never bring her back but I keep doing it purely out of hope that if I do enough then, one day, when it’s my time, I get to the gates and there’s no question whether they’ll open or not so I can see her again. I do all these endurance challenges I run 100 miles on Christmas Eve, 100 miles on Christmas Day, 100 miles on Boxing Day and I raise a hell of a lot of money but still, at the end of it I don’t have the privilege of coming home and holding my daughter. She’s my superpower and she showed me the meaning of “true love”. I always say that I’m able to achieve the things I do in this world because of her. ![]() She filled my heart with so much love that I just wanted to spread it to the world even though I was going through what I was going through. She encouraged and motivated me to want to be the best person that I can possibly be and she gave me all of those gifts, simply by being her beautiful self. She taught me how to help other people and shine a light for them even when I felt like I was surrounded by darkness. She taught me how to be courageous when I felt most scared. She taught me the true value of strength. It was like, no matter what she was going through, she would make everyone’s day brighter. She was the tiniest little thing and everyday she was fighting such a terrible illness this incredibly rare form of cancer, and she was doing it with a smile on her face, sitting up all day trying to play. Even during a time of such pain and trauma – the most trauma I will ever feel – she gave me the happiest and most beautiful days and provided me with a lot of perspective. She made me realise the person I wanted to be, the things I wanted to achieve. ![]() I’ve always struggled to find my identity, my true organic self, who I really am. Speaking to The Book of Man at its launch, Ashley shared his own story and highlighted how important it is for us all to be able to speak openly about what is still regarded as a taboo subject.Īzaylia Diamond Cain is the most beautiful soul to have ever entered my life. Hosted by Ashley Cain, the series features a number of conversations with famous faces all sharing their experiences of loss. Recently, MTV UK launched MTV Faces, a new series which explores the many faces of grief. Sadly, at just 8 months old, Azaylia passed away but not before leaving an indelible mark on those around her.Īlthough acute myeloid leukaemia is rare, cancer is the number one killer of children in the UK and since her passing, Azaylia’s father Ashley, has dedicated his life to raising awareness of this fact, completing several endurance challenges and setting up The Azaylia Foundation, the aims of which are simple – to increase the chances of early diagnoses by providing greater resources and expertise in the field as well as to increase funding for childhood cancer treatments. With her journey documented by her parents, Azaylia became an inspiration to many across the world. Just 8 weeks later the family’s world was rocked as she was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia – an aggressive form of cancer. ![]() On 10th August 2020, Azaylia Cain was born. ![]()
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